The Story of Affirmation and Empowerment: A Boy Child’s Journey from Loss to Leadership4 min read

Losing my father at the early age of 12 left me not only without an earthly father but left me with a difficult task of curving out a pattern of early adulting without fatherly directional mentorship.

Both my mothers were wonderful guardians but the place of a father was no easy gap to feel as now my paternal confidant was no more and I had to wrestle with a multitude of mental debates and layers of confusion about life.

Yes, there were moments I contemplated suicide even as a young lad as life continually heavy to bear. You see these child traumas do not just dissipate or fritter away.

I daily pondered on questions to which answers seemed millions of miles away. I lacked one of the most important aspects any young man needs from a father; affirmation. I lacked the voice that said; “This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased.” Cited from Matthew 3:17.

Every male child deserves that voice that affirms his identity and purpose on earth.

As I grew into a young man towards my eighteen, what I sought was found in a place that God alone kept. I realized growing stronger in God would provide me the answers and solutions I required for my life. The voice I lacked from an earthly vocal expression came by a divine voice. I found the love and affirmation I lacked in God.

The education context in Africa did not help much as we were schooled with a mindset that presented to us a world in which we were but second-class citizens.

As I grew older, it did not help to realize that millions of dollars in grants and donations were sent to Africa to empower the girl child. This is and will always be a great gesture but the concern was that the boy child seemed to be totally abandoned with an illusion that he was already empowered as he cowered in a corner feeling desolate and abandoned.

Many dysfunctional families today are a result of an empowered girl child married by a neglected boy child.

As a pastor and business leader today, I realize more and more that the boy child was pre-exposed to a fallacy that in silence we demonstrated strength and boldness of masculinity.

This with time bred in great men traits of low self-esteem. A strong lack of confidence but with numerous falsehoods of empowerment around us. We then thought the PHD would provide a solution. We thought the big 4-wheel drive car would cut it. We thought the impressive bank balance would cover our deficiencies.

Our self-actualization was then built on a false hood that the more we achieved the safer we would get under the shadows of our past scars only for many to find themselves with layers of emptiness. Wealthy, famous, married, parenting yet empty!

A study by priory group indicates that 77% of men suffer symptoms of mental health conditions. 40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health. 29% of those say they are “too embarrassed” to speak about it while 20% consider it a “negative stigma” to speak out.

Over my 25 years of broadcasting, I have hosted corporate leaders that had challenges expressing themselves.

There are several mental wars men are dealing with that have resulted in numerous unhealthy coping mechanisms.

I have had to personally grow by uprooting several wrong seeds mentally to cultivate a fresh mental infrastructure that continues to not only guide me by supporting other young and older men.

I have run the chamber of young entrepreneurs Ugandan and I have seen first hand what empowering these young men can do and exposing them to a new reality of challenging the silence stigma and encouraging open communication.

Ultimately, all institutions need to play their roles including work places, churches, family, and friends. It is key that there is a balance between supporting the girl child and boy child simultaneously.

We collaboratively need to address the misconceptions and take active steps to supporting men’s mental health and by that we shall have men lead healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Edwin Musiime,

Chairman Olim Group

Regional Director Capital Africa

Chairman Chamber of young entrepreneurs Uganda

Team Leader IBM Ministries.