Generally, no man is immune to pain and our problems might not look the same, but they inflict some amount of harm on each specific individual’s health. Stress from work, from home, from little personal failures that are inevitable in a world where the competing grounds are unequal or too slippery, are all examples of seemingly normal life experiences that you might choose to look over and move on, but they stay within when they are left unaddressed. Yet again, addressing Trauma or any kind of affliction is not exactly as easy as announcing a job promotion. Pain has that effect that makes you isolate yourself because when all you have to share is misfortune, you don’t exactly feel moved to speak. So you struggle in silence because bearing bad news requires the courage we don’t all generate at the same pace or even, ever. Courage to speak up when you are struggling is a process. And this is where artists come in:
Artists are lucky to have their way around words and rhythm. These are tools that artists use to channel emotions they would otherwise not be able to communicate directly because they are that intense. Artists use many creative elements to communicate heavy and grievous messages. Some of these elements are ‘word play’ and being ‘abstract’. They write coded messages and send them out into the world. Later, someone from a thousand miles away finds that message and it is a perfect translation of all the feelings they have been trying to make sense of. That particular message from a stranger they never met speaks to them and comforts them. Because when you see your story represented in other people’s experiences, you know you are not the only one. That comes with some level of comfort and safety. It is the magic of music.
Music is a form of a letter that an artist writes and mails to an unspecified address so that whoever finds it can make it their own. But just because the doctor knows how to diagnose cancer doesn’t mean that they are immune to cancer. Their bodies are human bodies. Their experiences are earthly experiences. So it is very possible, for artists just like the audiences they
bring healing to, to struggle emotionally. What makes it harder for artists is that they have the pressure to navigate their struggles in the eye of the public. They have the responsibility to be perfect and keep it together. But when they are behind closed doors where they don’t have to smile for the cameras, they break down. Breaking down alone when nobody is there to hold you is a kind of jail and that is how depression is born. You can only sit on pain for so long until it turns you over and if you can’t scream loud enough to ask for help, the rest is up to fate.
I personally do my best to surround myself with a few, I said a FEW people, whom I feel comfortable being vulnerable around. Energy is a very influential factor in my emotional wellbeing. So I pay attention to what kind of energy I tolerate. I don’t allow the pressure of having many friends to get to me as something that is pretty important to young people. Having huge circles of friends whom you can have fun with is great but I believe that to some degree, we all need to pump the brakes and be human. Be exhausted. When you start feeling too exhausted to keep up, you wanna make sure you have the kind of friends that will stop for you or even notice that you are not okay. Friends that will wait while you stretch your back for as long as you need to get back on track.
Bottom line is, there is not a single specific way in which artists take care of their mental health. Everybody is different and so is their story. Therefore, everybody should invest in themselves and work towards discovering what works for them and not be ashamed or scared to pursue just that. If watching birds is what brings you peace instead of going to the club, fuck the peer pressure, take your binoculars and do just that. Prioritise your mental peace. Choose your plate in accordance to your allergies, and eat it proudly. It is all hard really, but good health is fought for.
In brief, social support is important but it takes time and intentionality to build an authentic support system. So whether that is family for you, or something else, go after it but just don’t walk through life alone. If you can. I also believe that certain cultures, especially some African cultures, have their own reserved way around emotions. Emotions are not communicated openly and certain feelings are trivialized. But today’s modern world is not the same world our parents or the ones before them had. There are a lot more stressors now than ever, that young people don’t know how to grapple with because it is all new. So young people have the homework to reinvent those cultures that suppress emotional communication because they no longer serve to our benefit in this day and age. Starting with parents, they need to normalize intimate conversations with their children from a very young age because communication and language are things that are nurtured and things that one has to learn early in life. If children are taught the power of emotional communication from a young age, they are given the ability to phrase their feelings. Although Therapy is a pretty western form of dealing with mental health to people from our side of the world (Some parts of Africa), it is a good strategy to replicate. It is helpful to talk to a stranger who will not hold judgment or bias, and is trained to walk with you through the unique path you are traversing, however twisted and complex..
I can’t think of more than one or two psychological facilities that are available to people at the grass root level of Rwanda, to meet their mental health and counseling needs. But if they are indeed there and I just have never seen or heard of them, maybe they need to do a better job at making their services known even to those that don’t have access to Social media. I think the culture of therapy at least in the community grew up in, would take time to introduce but it is necessary because the world gets worse by the minute and people need to know that it is okay to complain about all of it. It is better than bottling it up. I could go for hours talking about mental health but to everyone struggling, there’s no shame in asking for help and it is hard to ask for help especially when your actions are crowded by your complicated emotions, but asking for help is that first bitter pill you have to swallow towards the cure. I promise it gets better.