This is the hardest place to get to when you have just been assaulted. The thought process that we have been taught to believe as the truth is that we could have done something to cause our rape.
As a woman, I have always been asked to cover up so that bad things do not happen to me. If I was more dressed up, I wouldn’t call for attention that I did not want.
If I was allowed to go back to my infant years, I can assure you that I have always hated clothes. Less is best with me and if there’s anything my friends can now attest to it is that I will have the shortest mini in the room and I will love it.
The night I got raped, I was in a short skirt. The night I got raped, I was drunk. The night I got raped was a spontaneous night with friends.
After I got raped, I could not wear minis. I stopped drinking. I would get panic attacks once it clocked 6pm and I wasn’t home. I still do not do spontaneous nights.
Whenever my triggers kick in, I have to remind myself that it was never ever my fault. What was done to me was never something I had control of and the blame is only on the person that harmed me.
I have to remind myself of this fact unfortunately with the understanding that I have been harassed in jeans, a long skirt and in short skirts. I have been harassed while I am sober, tipsy and drunk.
I wish I could have done something to stop what happened to me. I would be enjoying myself more. I would have lived in less fear but it happened and my consistent reminder is that it was never my fault and it is not yours either.
Source: https://konversationswithkanyomozi.wordpress.com/